Feminists Just Can't Change Females

Edgar Berman

Cavalier Daily

Cavalier Daily

1986-04-14

Feminist Just Can’t Change Females
By Edgar Bergman
The feminists could have done much better had they just asked for a little male help.
Still, a good time was had by all. The leaders made a fortune writing bad books and inflaming captive nubile audiences. And those who dutifully followed this non-leadership had a bash doing it. What excitement! Consciousness raising, marching on Washington, waving anti-male placards!
Changing the nature of man or beast is tough, but trying to change the character of the female is impossible. In the attempt, there was some minor breakage: Divorce rates soared. families broke up and a new generation of latchkey delinquents was upon us.
The Equal Rights Amendment is now dead, conscious-raising is a myth and President Reagan is deep-sexing affirmative ace tion. As Helen Gurley Brown put it, it's not whether you win or lose, but how much you pay the dame.
Though the movement did open the door for fire- and garbage-persons, plus a few account executives, they rarely place a womb at the top.
This didn't faze that majority of little sisters who got out of the house to wait on tables or pound on a typewriter at 60 cents to the male dollar. They proved themselves by just taking on another five hours of cooking, cleaning and wiping noses, besides laundering their spouses' golf socks on Saturdays.
And they enjoyed the extra bonus of being the target of sexual harassment. Women may not have thought up "Star Wars," created a Taj Mahal,improved their numbers in Congress or made Geraldine Ferraro a winner. But it was fun trying.
And it was a bloodless failure. The males are still chauvinistic, and the leftover feminists like Gloria and Germaine are still milking what's left.
The aging past-believers are again back at their singles bars, trying to stretch one-night stands into permanent status.
Through it all, the rank and file feminine females remained their truly loveable, gossipy, sex-object selves, subject to their usual depressions, shopping sprees and diet fads.
As the French say, plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. In other words, thanks be, the more feminists tried to change the female, the more she is the same.